Thriving Jewelz

It’s been several years since I last wrote here.

Life has brought seasons of grief, growth, motherhood, marriage, disappointment, healing, and countless reminders of God’s faithfulness.

As I return to writing, my prayer is simple: that this space would encourage women to draw closer to God, be honest about where they are, and learn to abide in His presence.

Welcome back to Thriving Jewelz

 

“Search me, God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.”

— Psalm 139:23

Lately, Psalm 139:23 has become one of the most consistent prayers of my life.

Not because God doesn’t already know me.

But because I want honesty with Him.

There are things in my heart that I don’t always recognize. Sometimes I see them, but I don’t really want to deal with them, so I push through, stay busy, or simply override what I’m feeling.

Yet as I continue to invite God to search me through prayer, worship, and His Word, He gently reveals what is really there.

Sometimes it’s comparison.

Sometimes it’s jealousy.

Sometimes it’s overthinking, doubt, hopelessness, fear, shame, or a lack of faith.

Not because He is trying to condemn me, but because He loves me too much to leave those things hidden.

What I’ve learned is that when God reveals something in my heart, He is also allowing me to bring it back to Him.

I don’t have to hide it.

I don’t have to pretend it’s not there.

I don’t have to perform spirituality while secretly struggling.

I can simply return it to Him and allow Him to do the transformative work only He can do.

God Already Knows

I think many of us stay at the surface level in our relationship with God because we’re afraid of complete honesty.

We convince ourselves that certain thoughts, emotions, questions, or struggles are inappropriate to bring before Him.

But Psalm 139 shows us something different.

David wasn’t hiding from God. He was inviting God into the deepest parts of his heart because he understood something powerful:

God already knew.

God already knew his thoughts.

God already knew his fears.

God already knew his weaknesses.

God already knew the things he was struggling to understand about himself.

And yet God still wanted him.

God still desired relationship with him.

That is what makes honesty with God so freeing.

The same God who searches us is the same God who loves us.

The same God who reveals what is in our hearts is the same God who invites us to bring it back to Him.

The Rhythm God Keeps Teaching Me

When God reveals something in my heart, the question becomes:

What do I do with it?

For me, God has been teaching me a simple rhythm:

Repent

Repentance is not beating yourself up or living in shame.

It is simply agreeing with God about what He has revealed.

When He shows me fear, comparison, pride, doubt, or unbelief, I stop minimizing it and bring it into the light.

Return

Return means bringing it back to God instead of carrying it myself.

So often we recognize what is wrong and immediately try to fix ourselves.

But God never asked us to transform ourselves.

He asked us to bring our hearts back to Him.

Remain

Remain means staying with Him.

Not running because of shame.

Not striving for approval.

Not performing.

Just abiding.

Remaining is choosing His presence, His Word, and His love while He continues His work in me.

Transformation happens as we stay connected to Him.

Abide, Not Perform

One thing God has been teaching me in this season is that He isn’t asking me to be perfect.

He’s inviting me to be honest.

The goal isn’t performance.

The goal is relationship.

So if God has been revealing things in your heart lately, don’t run from it.

Don’t hide.

Don’t pretend.

Bring it back to Him.

Repent.

Return.

Remain.

Because the God who searches you is the same God who loves you completely.

And He is inviting you into deeper intimacy with Him.

Abide, not perform.

What has God been revealing in your heart lately?